How judgemental are you? Do you like judging others? Have you realised that when you judge others, you are really just judging yourself?
I come from a very judgemental family. My grandparents are very traditional and grew up in a generation that saw blacks and women fight for their rights, and they witnessed world war 2 first hand. My mother is their daughter and, although she is much more open minded and overall a positive person, she still has judgemental tendencies. They shouldn’t be offended by my honesty, because truth is we all judge others, including me. Unless we are fully enlightened we will have these thoughts from time to time and that’s okay. The first step to changing your behaviour is not to discriminate others based on those judgemental thoughts. The second step is to look within and understand where that judgement came from.
People are just mirrors, reflecting what’s inside of you. If you judge someone for what they are wearing, I guarantee that you judge yourself for what you choose to wear. Sure you might be happy with what you’re wearing in that very moment, but you will definitely be judgmental toward yourself when you are at home alone trying on 5 different outfits before deciding on what to wear. If that person also looks happy their own skin, and that irritates you, then chances are you are not happy in your own skin. This person has found their way into your life to teach you that what you wear does not define who you are are, and also presents an opportunity to discover why you are unhappy in your own skin to make a change. If you choose to discriminate this person then you fail to see the lesson and you’ll miss the opportunity to improve yourself. This behaviour will keep you trapped in the loop of self-hate.
Let’s give the same example but where you are the receiver of judgment; Someone judges you for what you are wearing, or comments on a part of your body that you are unhappy with. If you take this personally and get offended, you will miss the opportunity to learn that this judgement from others is only there because it exists inside of you. You invited this judgement because of your judgement toward others.
Treating everyone as mirrors can be very difficult. It goes against the grain to take responsibility for everything that is going on around us with an open mind and without judgement. Depending on your current state of awakening you may find that almost every person in your life is teaching you a difficult truth about yourself. I remember when I started waking up, I was surrounded by people that were asleep and almost every encounter become a very difficult lesson about myself. I wanted to switch off this new technique I had implemented because it was overwhelming, I became my own coach but it was full of criticism – I just had to remind myself that it was all constructive. Over time, this practice helped me develop myself at an accelerated rate, and attract new people into my life. They are also mirrors, but the lessons they teach me are much more fulfilling and in line with my true-self, rather then my ego.
You are the creator of your own life. Take charge and judge effectively. We become what we judge.