While sitting by myself at Wonderland Yoga healing centre in Ko Pha-Ngan, I found myself lost in my mind. I put pen to paper to reconnect with the present moment and these words followed. I cannot claim them to be my own for when I write, I write without thought - it is as if something else speaks through me.
By sharing these words it is my intention to help you let go of limiting beliefs and to create empowering ones.
Remember, "What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve."
You are infinitely powerful.
Thursday 24th May
I’m disconnected from myself, from source. I am stuck on the thought train, observing all the thoughts that enter my conscious mind. There seems to be no real method to the way they enter my consciousness. A thought process attached to a memory of my 16 year old self’s girlfriend can follow the thought process that reflects the voice and view point of Deepak Chopra and Sadhguru, which is no doubt influenced by the video I watched of them both on YouTube this morning. Then I can have thoughts of the infinite possibilities available to me in this moment, or the future. My mind can produce random, meaningless thoughts in any random sequence. I can observe the emotion connected to them, or I can switch them off all together. While I allow them to run, I sit on the train of thoughts and become an empty shell of a human being. I miss the beauty of the butterfly floating above the bush beside a swinging chair made from what once would have been a thriving tree.
Do the thoughts and emotions influence my behaviour? Only if I allow them to. Repetitive, conscious thought will develop habits and strengthen beliefs – this means that I find writing, reading, listening to music and eating healthy vegan food unconsciously (because of previous conscious programming). I can observe my thoughts and emotions that are completely separate from these 4 actions and still find myself engaging with them. What’s interesting is how many choices I / We make throughout the day without conscious awareness.
My Choice to stop writing for a moment, put the palm of my hand on my third eye and tune in the sound of music was not one I thought of before taking action. So, do thoughts influence behaviours once we detach from them (which can be achieved through meditation)? If not, then what is the purpose of thought? Similarly, do emotions influence our behaviour when we reach this state of mind? In my case, the answer is yes and no. I have the strength to feel an emotion without letting it drive my decision making, and I have the courage to follow my heart even when the risk is high. I enjoy letting my heart take the lead and ignoring the voice of reason and logic – it’s what led me to travelling after all.
I guess the answer to this question can be asked forever, without ever knowing what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘better’ or ‘worse’. I recognise the human desire to follow a program, a belief system, an individual person or a community. The sense of belonging and safety when we follow is very comforting. We meet others on this path that share the same desires, thoughts and beliefs. This will create a feeling, an emotion that we believe to be true, because we feel it. This continues to reinforce the belief and will happen exponentially until we either become this belief, die, or have an existential crisis – an event that makes us question everything again.
If this is the relationship between thoughts, behaviour, belief and emotion, how can we ever be certain that what we think, do, believe or feel is real? What I do know is that certain beliefs help us achieve our desires and goals in business and life, whereas others hold us back, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t”. These are just programs. Thought processes attached to unprocessed emotions, or memories that we have rejected and suppressed or chosen to identify with. I can understand why people struggle to disconnect from these beliefs because the human brain wishes to know itself, it has the desire to identify with something, and it seeks certainty. The idea of being nothing, floating in the vast emptiness inside can be overwhelming. The void, the black hole, the emptiness within is where our biggest fears, doubt and pain resides. We tell ourselves the easiest way to ‘deal’ with this incomplete feeling is to work harder, change our appearance, buy material goods, experience drugs and alcohol and engage in activities that we KNOW are not healthy, nor provide long-term relief. We can continue on this journey for a life-time and reject the powers and gifts that EACH AND EVERY human being possesses, or we can face the facts and try something new. Try a new belief. If it works, keep it until it doesn’t. Then try a new one. Seek not a permanent belief, for impermanence is where infinite power, knowledge and wisdom waits for you. If you are suffering, if you feel the untapped potential inside of you then take a deep breath, let go of all thoughts, feel whatever emotion is present right now. Fear. Confusion. Love. Resonance. Whatever it may be, just sit with it. Let the mind rest and soften by saying “I choose this emotion because I choose this emotion”. You need not know WHY it exists in this present moment, just feel it. On the other side there is a lesson, an insight, a realisation or even a revelation waiting for you. JOY. BLISS. PEACE. Whatever you seek, it is inside of you
“If you do not go within, you go without” Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God.
The belief I invite you to try today is that you know nothing. Any thought process, any emotion, any belief you hold in this moment in time is the result of mental conditioning passed down to you by your parents, your school, politics, economics and history. If you have resistance to this idea, if you have just started a program of denial then ask yourself this;
“If I was born in a different time, in a different country, with different people, in a different culture, surrounded by different beliefs, would I think, feel and believe what I think, feel and believe?”
You, in your human form, were not in control of when and where you were born. These factors alone have been the driving force behind who you have become. The good news is that, now you realise this, you have a choice. Continue operating with old beliefs that have been given to you unconsciously, without choice, OR, you can choose to start again. Sit in the nothingness and create whatever belief you want. Don’t follow me. Don’t seek answers in other people. Look inside and find that voice who has been screaming and shouting at you, the voice that so desperately wishes to be heard. Listen to it, follow it, see what beliefs show up and try them all. Believe that we all live in a matrix, believe that this is just a computer game or simulation, believe you are a spirit in a human body, or the universe expressing itself. Believe in God. Believe in nothing. Believe in everything.
Just enjoy the freedom to believe whatever you choose to believe. And remember, just because you believe it doesn’t make it ‘REAL’. Let others believe what they want to believe. Exist in harmony with others and the world can be a better place.
What do you believe?
Thanks for reading.
Love Will x